How to Afford to Be a Stay at Home Mom

Are you longing to be home with your little ones? Find out how to afford to be a stay at home mom, and how ditching the working mom grind can end up being cheaper for some families.

As I walked into the dimly lit kitchen that morning, I did my best to run down the details of my toddler’s routine without crying. I was dropping him off for his first day at my friend’s in-home daycare, and I didn’t want to upset him.

But the tears just wouldn’t stop.

I had gotten to stay home longer than most, and at least I could bring my infant to work with me, but that didn’t stop the feeling that there was suddenly a gaping hole where my heart once was.

“He’ll be ok,” she assured me in a soothing tone and gave me a hug.

Of course, he would be fine, but I wasn’t sure I would be.

This wasn’t why I became a mom, to hand off my baby to be cared for by someone else (even as loving and capable as my friend was). To barely get to see him on weekdays, and watch the weekends blow past with chores and errands that must get done.

I wanted to be the one to ooh and aah over the latest stick or pine cone he’d found, to wipe his messy hands, and snuggle him before his nap.

I was his mama, and no one could fill that role like I could.

As I walked out the door that spring day, I was determined to find a way to stay at home with my little one.

Six months later, we were back at home together for good, and our finances are better than ever. I’ve also had the joy to help over 8 million moms through my blog and premium programs to find ways to budget successfully, so they can stay at home with their children.

I wanted so badly to be a stay at home mom. What I found out was that staying at home mom was a lot more financially realistic that I at first thought. Here's how...
I would have given anything to be at home with my little one. What I found out was that being a stay at home mom was a lot more financially realistic that I at first thought. Here’s how…

How to Be a Stay at Home Mom

Today I’ll walk you through how you may be able to afford to stay at home by:

  • Saving money by not working outside the home
  • Saving money in other areas of your budget
  • Making up the difference by working from home

1. Look at how much you could save just by staying home

What I’ve learned along the way is that working moms spend quite a bit of money just for the privilege of going to work. Once you take yourself out of the workforce, you can open up a surprising amount of room in your budget.

In some cases, it can even be cheaper to be a stay at home mom.

But first I want to introduce you to Allison. She’s an average mom, who heads out to work every day. She earns the median income for women in the U.S. of $3,557 per month and has two children.

Let’s dig in and see how quitting her job to stay at home with her little ones will save her money.

Taxes

While it might take an adjustment not to get that regular paycheck, you will also not be paying the taxes and other withholding either. In addition, your tax rate may decrease once your household income goes down.

When you’re working, a big portion of your income goes to paying taxes. The IRS lists marginal federal tax rates ranging from 10 to 37 percent. State taxes can be as high as 13 percent of your income.

The average 4-person household has an effective tax rate of about 15 percent, so Allison saves $533 on taxes when she stops working.

Daycare

If you’re a working mom, you already know that daycare is a huge expense. According to the Economic Policy Institute, the cost of daycare for one infant can range from $453 to $2,020 per month.

With additional children in daycare, the cost continues to rise. The cost of child care for a 4-year-old ranges from $399 to $1,593 each month.

When you stay home, you get to be the one to care for your babies, and you don’t have to pay for daycare.

When Allison stops working, she saves $2,232 in child care costs for her two children.

Stay at home mom doing laundry with crawling baby in tow. Many moms find that it's cheaper to be a stay at home mom, and it isn't just ditching daycare that saves you money.
Many moms find that it’s cheaper to be a stay at home mom, and it isn’t just ditching daycare that saves you money.

Transportation

When you become a stay at home mom, you get to say goodbye to your commute and hello to more time and money in your life.

The average worker spends a record high of 53.2 minutes per day, according to the most recent data from US Census Bureau, and most drive a single-occupancy vehicle.

Let’s make a conservative estimate that each commuter is driving about 30 miles. Multiplied by the IRS Standard Mileage Rates, that’s a cost of $17.25 per day or $345 per month assuming an average of 20 work days per month.

Food

My friend recently went back to work one day a week after taking care of her little ones full time. But for the first couple of weeks, she had to go in full time for training. She told me, “Guess what was the last thing I wanted to do every night when I dragged myself in after an 8-hour shift? Make dinner!” Suddenly she understood why her working-mom friends ended up going out so often.

Now, I can’t say that I am all that enthusiastic about making dinner, but it is a whole lot easier to find the time and energy to get it done when you stay at home. As my friend found out, when you stay at home, you’re more likely to eat at home, and that saves a lot of money.

When you don’t have to run out the door to work in the mornings, it’ll be easier to cut down on the lunches out and the afternoon mocha that helped you get through the day.

The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that the average four-person household spends $397 per month on eating out. If Allison cuts this down by just half, she’d save $199 monthly.

Perhaps she eats out for lunch one less time per week and saves $65. Then she cooks at home 3 additional times per month to save $134, for a total of $199.

Clothes

Once you don’t have to go into the office every day, your clothing and dry cleaning expenses will go down.

On average, the same BLS report shows that the average woman in a family of four spends $70 per month on clothes.

Now, I’m not saying you have to live in yoga pants all day (unless you want to). In fact, you can easily build a very cute SAHM capsule wardrobe for $20 to 40 per month, according to women’s style expert Erin Ross.

Let’s say Allison cuts her clothing budget in half and saves $35 per month.

Diapers & Formula

If you have a baby at home, you know that the cost of diapers adds up fast. One way that I was able to save money by being a stay at home mom was through cloth diapering.

A Baby Center survey estimated the average cost of disposable diapers and wipes for the first year to be $92 per month compared to only $19 per month for cloth.

Your savings will grow even more as you use your cloth stash beyond the first year and with your next baby.

I bought one set of cloth diapers and wipes that I was able to use through potty training for my kids. It wasn’t a big deal to do an extra load of laundry throughout the day because I was already at home.

In addition, it can be easier to maintain a breastfeeding relationship with your little one when you stay at home. When you don’t have to worry about fitting the somewhat awkward task of pumping at work, freezing milk, and filling bottles, you may be able to avoid using expensive formula in lieu of breastfeeding.

The same Baby Center survey pinned formula at $105 per month while breastfeeding cost zero.

For Allison, this could amount to savings for $178 monthly.

So, is it cheaper to be a stay at home mom?

Let’s take a look based on our example above.

$3,557 gross monthly income for women in the US
-$533 in taxes
-$2,232 daycare costs for infant and older child
-$345 for commute-related transportation
-$199 in additional food costs
-$35 for clothes
-$178 for Diapers and Formula


$35 net income

That’s right, the cost of work-related expenses gobbles up almost all of the average working mom’s paycheck. She ends up with a net income of just $35.

Now, depending on your situation, you might have a higher gross income, or you might have a really short commute, or you might not have a baby in diapers right now. But hold tight. This can still work for you.

I’ll walk you through how to calculate your true net income in a second. First, I want to show you two more ways you can make staying at home work for your family.

Smiling mom playing with her child: Just leaving your job to stay at home can save a lot, but for many moms, there are a couple more steps necessary to make it work.
Just leaving your job to stay at home can save a lot, but for many moms, there are a couple more steps necessary to make it work.

2. First, find additional ways to save

Even with all those variables in mind, for most moms, there’s a fairly small difference in the income you’d need to make up once you look at how much is saved by not going to work.

Could you cancel cable or shop around for a better insurance rate? Maybe you’ll learn to meal plan and you’ll save money on groceries, hang your laundry to dry, or make your own cleaning products.

When you’re at home, you have more time available to find additional ways to save money to help make your budget work.

3. Then, make up the difference by working from home

At this point, you might be thinking that you’ve come to the end of what you can cut (or even sell) to make it feasible to stay at home.

And you might be right.

However, there’s one more resource you have available. Legitimate work at home opportunities for moms abound today. In fact, the average mom here in the Affording Motherhood Community who works from home earns $1,406 per month in a range of different careers.

Working from home can help fill the gap in your budget, so you can afford to be at home with your little ones.

What about health insurance?

While staying at home is often more realistic than you might think at first, one of the biggest obstacles is health insurance. There may be an additional cost to get added to your husband’s health plan. If there will be an additional cost involved in the transition, then you will need to account for this when making your plans to jump ship.

When mom carries the insurance for the whole family, leaving the security of those benefits poses an even greater challenge, but nothing is impossible. The first option is for dad to start the job search for a job that provides benefits.

If your income will decrease, you may qualify for additional help from health exchange plans. If you have savings, you may opt for a plan with a higher deductible to keep premiums more affordable.

Finally, for Christian families, a healthcare sharing program like Samaritan Ministries is an affordable alternative to traditional health insurance.

Let’s Review

I’ve shown you what it would take for the average mom to stay at home. We walked through how quitting your job could actually save money on expenses like:

  • Daycare
  • Clothes
  • Taxes,
  • Transportation
  • Food
  • Diapers and Formula

Then we looked at the additional steps you could take to find a break-even point with working vs. staying at home by finding additional ways to save money. In the end, many moms will only need a small additional amount of income by working from home, not a full-time job.

As I write this, my then-toddler came up to display his latest LEGO creation. Same blond hair (but a bit darker now), same deep green eyes, same irresistible smile.

His wrists are already starting to stick out of the sweater we got in the Fall. The days are flying by, and I’m so grateful that I get to spend them right here where they call me by my true name — Mama.

So what about you?

Toddler displaying his art work: Whether my kids are two or twelve I want to be at home with them where my heart is happiest.
Whether my kids are two or twelve I want to be at home with them where my heart is happiest.

Can you afford to be a stay at home mom?

One of the biggest mistakes I see moms making is that they want to be a stay at home mom, but believe they can’t afford it.

What I would suggest to you is to approach this not as a yes/no answer. Don’t askCan I afford to stay at home?’

Ask instead,How can I afford to be a stay at home mom?’

I’ve created a Stay at Home Mom Calculator for you to help you assess how you can make staying at home manageable for your family.

Often, you’ll find that it’s a lot easier than you thought. And even if not, you’ll know exactly what you need to do to make it happen in the near future.

If your heart is longing to be at home with your babies (no matter what age they are), grab your free calculator and plug in your family’s numbers.

shannon Clark, LIFE & FINANCIAL Coach

As a mom, I know what it's like to feel exhausted, overwhelmed by life, and inadequate to meet my children's needs. But I also know you don't have to stay there.

As an author and coach, I've had the joy of encouraging more than 9.1 million moms to find forward motion with their faith, family, and finances — without the frenzy.

Will you be next?

157 thoughts on “How to Afford to Be a Stay at Home Mom”

    • I love this post! My husband and I just a couple of days ago did a budget. I started full time work a little over a year ago. We thought it would help so much. Not only do I never see my children, but finances have felt even tighter! After we sat down and crunched numbers, we found that after all of the expenses like child care, and transportation to work, I was bringing home a whole $10./month!!! im so very excited to announce that I will be quitting my job and homeschooling my children. Im so thrilled and so are the kids. Glad hubby noticed something wasnt right :) So thankful to be home again and to never have to hear my kids ask “mommy, can u please babysit us today.”

      Reply
  1. Sadly none of this applies to me :( I’d love to leave my job. We already CD and use expressed breastmilk while I’m at work. I work opposite shifts as DH so we avoid daycare costs, I live 2 miles from my job so gas is a non issue, my scrubs are provided by my employer. Almost every cent is profit for me. I’d love to hear some ideas for becoming a WAHM!

    Reply
    • That’s awesome that you and your husband work together. There’s nothing wrong with baby spending time with Daddy. Maybe you can economize some other way and work fewer hours so you have some family and couple time?

      Reply
    • We do this as well. I am currently enrolled in college working for my degree that hopefully I’ll be able to be a WAHM with it but currently I take night classes, work at night, my significant other works days so we avoid day care, I pump at work and we cloth diaper. We’re already cutting our phone line and switching our internet company. My work is 10 minutes away, as is his and we have a standard transmission car so gas is also a non issue. The sad truth is is that it just doesn’t cut it. We need my paycheck. At least I get to stay home during the day with my son and he gets to spend a lot of time with his daddy but we really lack family time because of it. I couldn’t tell you the last time I sat down to dinner with my significant other.

      Reply
    • I became a jeweler for Premier Designs and do home shows. I would have to work 50+ hours a week at my old job as a Property Manager to make the same amount that I make in 12 hours of work in Premier. It’s amazing! I never believed in DSAs and never dreamed of even hosting a party of any kind. But I have a friend who’s been in the business for 6 years so I thought, “I’ll give it a shot.” I paid off my investment in 3 weeks (5 shows) and I’m making really good money. It sounds too good to be true but I stay at home with my amazing 2 year old boy and I get paid to have girls nights which helps me keep my sanity.

      Reply
    • I bf exclusively and never bought formula ever. My husband and I worked opposite schedules so we didn’t pay daycare. My job is close so gas etc not enough of a saver. Insurance costs were the main thing that kept me working though, health insurance was way too expensive. With my first born I WAS able to stay home most of the first year and only work part time in the evening – but we ended up in a pretty good amount of debt and had to refinance our home!. I went back full time when he was one. With my second though there was just no way to make it happen and still survive financially.

      Reply
    • Is it wrong to get married with the agreement that both spouses will work to pay off student loans and bills, but then after marriage one partner taking that agreement back…gets pregnant and refuse to return to work…and leave the spouse to take on the financial responsibilities?

      Reply
      • I’m gonna go ahead and say that that spouse probably didn’t “get pregnant” on their own. Becoming a parent changes things, so I would also say that no it’s not necessarily wrong to want to change the game plan once children are brought into the family.

      • No. Having kids changes everything. If I could go back in time, I would have quit my job right when my kids were little and made lifestyle changes to make things work. Being there for your kids is infinitely more important than anything else. I’m a mom of 5 (two are adults) and I still work full time and regret it more than anything else in my life.

  2. I am blessed to be able to stay home with my kids. Today is the perfect example of why – as I have 3 kids home from school and don’t have to worry about childcare etc. But I know that I am LUCKY to have a husband who is supportive of this decision (even though we can’t afford a lot of fun stuff…) and that we make enough to get by on a single income. I guess I’m just recognizing that I think it’s a privilege. and I’m grateful for that privilege.

    Reply
    • I feel the same way. I am a stay at home mother of three also. Every time money gets a little tight and we discuss me going back to work, the list of why it is a bad idea overwhelms us. Not to mention my children have very busy schedules and my husband works shift work. Our quality of life would reduce drastically. My children would go back and forth between home, school, and daycare; end of story. There would be no baseball, basketball, soccer, dance, band, and any other after school activities. We can’t afford all the luxuries our friends have, but we have oodles of family time.

      Reply
  3. This offers some great tips! I lost my job shortly after my husband and I got married a few years ago. I wasn’t able to find a job, and realized I’d rather focus on my home instead. We don’t have children yet, but I am so thankful that my husband and I have already figured out how to live on one income. I am so thankful that when I have children, unless circumstances change, I’ll be able to be a stay at home mom. Great tips, and thank you for sharing!

    Reply
    • Same for me Monica. I decided to quit my job since it was crazy stressful and my husband and I are learning to live on one income now so that when we do have kiddos everything will be more organized and settled. My husband was not up for it at first, but once he started coming home to a clean house with dinner waiting he was hooked. He also started working with an older guy and his wife stayed at home with their kids and he told my husband how great it is to know that his kids are at home safe with his wife! That got to my husband as well!

      Reply
  4. My Children are 22 and 24 now. However, I was a stay at home for all of their lives. It is a choice if you are a 2 parent family for one of you to stay home. If you know you want children “someday” start saving one income as soon as you are married. If you need money for fertility treatments or adoption costs you will be so much closer. And not spending the second income will allow you to make the transition to being a family with a stay at home parent.
    In addition to the finances, being a parent at home with your children will be the best investment you can make in your children’s future. Anything “taught” at day care and preschool can be taught by you, at sunday school, library time etc. Don’t be pressured into the “preschool” is the best education. My son studied at Oxford University and is applying to doctorate programs now and my daughter is studying to be a vet. EVERYONE understimates how much it COSTS to go to work. Listen to this lady. She is SO right!!!! Good luck to all of you !

    Reply
  5. Start saving to be a stay at home mom as soon as you get married. That is wonderful advice! Even though I always knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom when I had kids, for some reason we didn’t think to prepare and plan ahead as much as we could have. Luckily we did put away quite a bit of savings, but I know we could have done better and paid off more of our student loans.

    Reply
    • If only I had known when we first got married that I would want to be a SAHM, the transition from a fulltime working woman to a fulltime wife and mother would have been an easy one. But such is not the way for most, and it wasn’t for us. Now with three children, and efforts over the years to make the transition possible (or at least more possible), I am hoping to join this elite group! Sitting down and truly speaking to your spouse and combing through your budget over and over until it is memorized (lol)are key! With prayer, hard work and sacrifice it is possible. Great post Shannon & good luck all of those out there who share in this desire to be home with your little ones!
      Nicole

      Reply
      • Haha! I’m not sure it’s Elite, but I do hope you’ll be able to reach your goal soon and enjoy the lifestyle that’s right for your family! Even though I knew that I wanted to be a Stay at Home Mom I was almost afraid to even admit it because our culture says you need 2 incomes and a smart, strong woman should have her own career. If only I would have had someone showing me the way back then, but I hope this post will encourage those who are just starting out to start thinking through their options sooner than I did. :) Thanks so much for your sweet comment Nicole!

  6. A lot of people wonder how I afford to stay home with my kids. Luckily, we have a low mortgage payment for starters. But we also don’t eat out, don’t go out for coffee every morning, don’t smoke, and have one cell phone with a $20/month plan. I hear people moan about having to go back to work after 1 year off, but they have a $600 stroller, Lulu lemon head to toe, the newest iphone..maybe if you weren’t such a consumerist you could afford to stay home!

    Reply
    • I’m a stay at home mom, with careful planning and such we have been fortunate to indulge in “consumerist” ways. Deprivation is never the way, but buying smart is. Craigslist and ebay has enabled us to have high name brands like the orbit stroller for a tiny fraction of the cost. It has also enabled me to to compare apples to apples so we are able to have luxurious without breaking the bank.

      Reply
  7. I certainly agree with the lady that staying with your kids as long as you can could be the best decision you will make. If we stop looking at material things that the society is offering we could afford to stay at home and rear up our children to the values that we treasure, I myself don’t want stranger rearing up my child. If we just live modesty and plan we could step aside from our career for a few years. We can only have them for few years in a blink of an eye they’ll be all grown up and starting their own lives.

    Reply
  8. I don’t pay for daycare because my mom watches my daughter for free, and I work at home so I don’t pay for transportation, meals, clothes, etc. My heart breaks because I can’t stay home with my daughter but my husband barely makes enough to pay our mortgage payment every month. We have our second child due in August and I would love more than anything to stay home. I am pretty budget savvy and have gone over and over our budget, and all I can figure is that we will have to save for at least 4 years before we can afford for me to quit. Moving is not an option either because the housing market is so crappy around here that we would probably lose at least $20,000 on our house, which would defeat the purpose of moving. So I am totally trapped. Depressing, I know.

    Reply
    • Hi Sarah! I’m so sorry you are trapped in this situation for now. I really encourage you to keep saving toward your goal. You just never know when something unexpected might happen to change your circumstances and let you stay home sooner than you think.

      Reply
  9. these are so true! i quit my job last year when my baby was born and i’m surprised by how much i don’t spend. I’m more careful with my grocery budget and avoid going shopping just for shopping sake. i have more time to plan my grocery trips as well so there’s less stop in through the week to pick up a few things and leave with a buggy full. I’m also amazed at how the jeans and tops i’ve had for years are great to wear daily now that i’m not needing dressier clothes. thanks fo sharing! it’s not easy to put the stay at home mom out there sometimes…

    Reply
  10. I dont understand any of the buzzwords you used to describe yourself.website. But your math is right on! Imagine your take home pay once you have more than one child. What is your estimate of the break even point. I guestimate its between the 2nd and 3rd. By three, theres negligible point in distancing yourself from your children to work for no (net) money.

    Reply
    • That’s a great point! I would guess it is somewhere between 2 and 3 with the biggest factor being the cost of daycare. Most of the other expenses probably stay roughly the same from 1 to 2 to 3.
      If you’re interested in learning more about this site, I encourage you to take a look at the right sidebar for the topics I write about: pregnancy and birth, parenting, do it yourself, being environmentally friendly, and saving money. Each of the four buttons on the side will take you to a list of past posts on that topic. Thanks!

      Reply
  11. I did this same math when my first daughter was born and it just didn’t add up for me to go back to work. The extra stress it was going to cause on my family was another factor. We looked into regulations in our state and when she was about two I started watching three other children in my home along with my daughter. She had instant playmates and we had much needed income. I could deduct a huge amount of the expenses involved with being a daycare so I paid very little in taxes. I think what I ended up with net was about the same as I would have after the extra expenses involved with working. (We would have needed a second car, gas, insurance, etc. as well as all the expenses you listed.) It was insanely tight. We watched every penny. But we made it work.

    It’s so hard when you feel trapped by circumstances. Sometimes you’ve cut everything you can and there is just no wiggle room to allow you to stay home. I wish everyone who has posted here that is in that situation the best of luck in figuring out the best path forward for their family.

    KT

    Reply
    • Are you a registered daycare? I am looking to start a daycare but not sure if I should try to be registered or just start unregistered with a couple children as that alone would supplement most my take home income now from my job. I’d like to be registered but I know there’s a lot more to qualifying (having a fenced in area outside, etc) that is an expense I’m not sure we can do right now and I am due in June for our 3rd child so was hoping to get the daycare ball rolling by then :-)

      Reply
      • If I saved up enough to buy a home in cash ($150,000) and didn’t have a mortgage wouldn’t that allow me to be a stay at home mom easily? With just the father working?

      • Hi Mary, Great question. In your scenario, it definitely sounds like you would have a great start to being able to live on one income. However, it would simply depend on the cost of living in your area, your lifestyle, number of children, etc. If you’re thinking about becoming a stay at home mom, I would encourage you to use the Stay at Home Mom Calculator I created to help families make a plan for how to live on one income. You can use it to dig into the details of your unique financial situation and see what would be a good fit for you. If you have any questions as you go through that process, don’t hesitate to reach out.

  12. I found that when I was working we spent more money. I would always ‘justify’ why I needed that new pair of shoes, or whatever. We are just as wealthy or poor as when I was working full time. NO, we don’t have the fun things like i-phones, top of the line clothes, and we don’t go out lots…but me and my family are so much more happy with me being home. My biggest wish is that ALL moms could stay home. I just don’t know how working moms do it…KUDOS to them, cause I struggle with the daily things like homework, and dinner and I’m home most the day :)

    Reply
    • I was the same way! “We just finished a big project, so I need to go shopping.” Why I do not know because I don’t even like shopping!! I guess I just felt the need to reward myself.
      Oh and I serious do not know how working moms do it. Really they are amazing! Don’t forget though that staying home is a full time job too, and it is exhausting chasing after the kids all day! You’re doing a great job!

      Reply
  13. This is great! My oldest was in daycare until she started school. My son was born when she was 6, and one day, when he was 9 months old, I came home and told my husband I quit my job. He about had a heart attack, because we could not pay our bills on one income. The next week, a friend asked me to keep her little girl. Four years later, I still have a daycare at my house. I am home with my babies, and make more money than my husband (thought he hates to admit it!)!
    As someone who keeps kids, I get to see what the kids go through. It is hard on them, to the point that they call me “mommy Em”. I try my best to explain when they ask why mommy isn’t here that they are helping their family, but it is heartbreaking. I could never put my kids back in daycare, even if I had to sell everything I own! My daycare kids are with me literally more waking hours than they are with their parents. 11 hours a day, usually. I feed them two meals a day, sometimes three. One I even bathe each day, because Mama “just runs out of time.” I’ve been told “it is a good thing my kid has you, otherwise she wouldn’t know what a mommy is!” I know not all moms are like that, but still, it is hard on the little ones.

    Reply
    • I watch a 3 year old girl, and it breaks my heart every time she cries, “I just want Mommy.” So thankful that my kids never have to feel that way.

      Reply
  14. This is great! My oldest was in daycare until she started school. My son was born when she was 6, and one day, when he was 9 months old, I came home and told my husband I quit my job. He about had a heart attack, because we could not pay our bills on one income. The next week, a friend asked me to keep her little girl. Four years later, I still have a daycare at my house. I am home with my babies, and make more money than my husband (thought he hates to admit it!)!
    As someone who keeps kids, I get to see what the kids go through. It is hard on them, to the point that they call me “mommy Em”. I try my best to explain when they ask why mommy isn’t here that they are helping their family, but it is heartbreaking. I could never put my kids back in daycare, even if I had to sell everything I own! My daycare kids are with me literally more waking hours than they are with their parents. 11 hours a day, usually. I feed them two meals a day, sometimes three. One I even bathe each day, because Mama “just runs out of time.” I’ve been told “it is a good thing my kid has you, otherwise she wouldn’t know what a mommy is!” I know not all moms are like that, but still, it is hard on the little ones.

    Reply
  15. I worked until my oldest was 6, and it killed me inside. When my youngest was 9 months old, I quit my job. I didn’t even tell my husband, and he nearly had a heart attack when he found out! We could not pay the bills on one income! A week later, a friend asked me to keep her little girl while she worked. Three years later, I run a daycare from my home. I make more than my husband, though he hates to admit it!! I pride myself on loving and caring for each child as I do my own.

    I write this, not only as a mom, but also as someone who babysits. My “kids” are with me more waking hours than their parents…11 hours usually. I feed them 2 meals a day, often three, when moms work late and they eat supper with MY family. I see what the little ones go through. I hate hearing “Why is mommy gone”, and “Can you tell my mommy to come home?”, because no matter how I explain to a 3 year old that mommy is helping her family, it still hurts them. My “kids” call me “Mama Emmy”. I have had moms call me in the middle of the night to ask me what they need to do to comfort their child. I had one mom who had no clue her child was potty trained! Obviously, not all moms are like this, just examples.
    After seeing what they go through, I would rather sell everything I own than to EVER go back to work. No matter how wonderful the care provider is, NO ONE is substitute for mommy!

    Reply
  16. Even being a work at home mom seems to cost money and unnecessary time. It’s a great idea if you have to work and you want to be at home. I do it for that reason. But, thinking about it, if I wasn’t working at home, I’d be doing the dishes instead. By doing the dishes, I wouldn’t be fed up with the kitchen mess and wouldn’t buy a pizza for dinner. $ saved. If I could spend more time with my kids, I wouldn’t pay for Netflix to entertain them while I work. $ saved. If I didn’t work from home (I am self employed), I wouldn’t have to pay self employment taxes. $ saved. If I wasn’t trying to meet a deadline, I would have lunch finished before I went to pick up the older kids from school and wouldn’t run through McDonald’s for my 4 year old on the way. $ saved. If I didn’t work from home, I woulnd’t NEED the internet and could cancel it. $ saved. If you don’t absolutely have to work to make ends meet, I suggest not doing it! Your kids will love you for it! Makes me wonder why I am doing it……

    Reply
    • I work at home also. I have found that getting up before the kids allows me time to plan. Getting the kids in bed before me allow me time to plan for the next day. Making food ahead of time, freezer meals that are ready to pull out of the freezer the night before & throw in the crockpot in the morning help with the meal situation. Make extra servings at dinner so lunch is already done, just heat it up. Planning is key to stay on track as a WAHM. I wish you the best in finding the way that works best for you & your family to keep connected & eat healthy.

      Reply
  17. After I had my second child I wanted to quit but it just didn’t seem like the right thing to do (I’m very religious and it seemed like God was saying I still needed to work). My husband lost his job 9 months later so we were very blessed that I did have a job. At that point a friend (who is a stay at home mom) said the best thing to me. She told me it takes a very special person to be able to work full time and have a family full time. It made all the difference in the world to hear that. My husband found a job about a month later but here we are 5 years later and I was just able to quit my job after having baby number 3

    Reply
  18. I am a stay at home mom with one baby and another on the way. It has been very easy for us to stay at home, but we have no debt from student loans, no medical problems, and a very low standard of living. We both watched our parents, from the Material Generation, make lots of money and spend lots of money and be always broke. Now, we have a beatup car that we own, a house that isn’t perfect but is well-loved, and always shop around before making any purchase. We have our little expenses to make us happy (my husband is an amateur bodybuilder and needs A LOT of food and I love Starbucks coffee), but we save so much money every paycheck my husband brings in. The hardest thing about being a SAHM is the social stigma, as it seems that now, being a SAHM is somehow a bad thing, anti-feminist, and maybe even for women of low education.

    I plan on going back to work part-time once my youngest is two years old and then full time once the youngest is five years old, just because I think it would be good for both my resume and the socializing of my children, but I will only do it if it makes financial sense, ie finding the right job to make a profit while still paying for daycare, gas, and food expenses.

    Reply
  19. I was finally able to come home from my full time job when my youngest child was a year old. As much as I wish I’d have been able to make it work when my older two were babies, I almost feel that they need me at home more now that they’re older. I get to be active in volunteering at their schools, and I don’t have to fight with a boss to take off work when they’re sick, have parent/teacher conferences, class parties, dentist appointments, etc.
    Young moms, don’t be discouraged if you can’t come home just yet. And don’t rush back to work as soon as your kids hit full-day school! I’m blessed to be able to “stay at home” (yeah, right…) with three busy kiddos in grade school thru jr. high, and I wouldn’t trade these years for anything else.

    Reply
  20. I wanted to be a stay at home mom for my amazing little girl so, I have a daycare in my house. I get paid to let my daughter play with her friends from 8-5 every weekday. It was a great choice as I don’t commute unless I take the girls to the park or zoo. I make all meals at home so the girls can have a yummy yet healthy lunch. And the girls all play well together and have fun.

    Reply
    • How did you start the daycare in your home? I would love to do this so i dont have to go back to work when my little one is born. I am dreading the day where i have to leave him!

      Reply
  21. I wish my spouse would read this. He knows how expensive it is for me to work and does not want our children with ‘strangers’, but when he is frustrated he blames me for ‘not wanting’ to work. I had a part time job cleaning, 3 day a week 3 hours a day. Which was awesome… BUT…he stayed with our daughter, which would have been ideal if he didn’t sit her in front of the TV the whole time and not put her to bed ever, if I ever came home at midnight she would still be awake. We have 3 now and I stay with them, I would have no problem being a daycare, but our house is in need of a severe renovation, no middle-class trendy mom would be caught dead leaving her kids here, I have seen the looks on peoples faces when they come over. Sorry for the vent…it works out because I buy nothing for myself and cut my own hair etc… I dress like a thrift store bag lady and if I was still 20 I ‘might’ look cool. We have very little for bills and drive only one vehicle. A mom can only ‘do it all’ if she has support from family or friends, doing it all seems to be for appearances anyways because does anyone really ‘want’ the extra stress that goes with spreading yourself ‘too thin’. I think we end up teaching our kids that ‘things’ are what is important than just ‘being’ with them. I resent being made feel like I am lazy because I am unable to do it all.

    Reply
  22. We’ve done all this so I can stay home but our biggest change in our finances was when we stopped buying anything commercial in food or other products like cleaning supplies. Just think how much you waste by buying commercial detergents when you can make your own better and cheaper. Pinterest is a great site to teach how to save money by making everything. My grocery bill is the same but with no junk food or packaged anything. We eat better also. Plus we homeschool which eliminates a lot of unnecessary expenses like endless school supply lists and picture taking. Seriously, do we need our kids pictures twice a year and in every activity. If we can do it anyone can. I worked outside the home for many unhappy years because I knew we were getting no where and the stress made us all cranny.

    Reply
  23. I am trying to figure this equation out, myself. I am a lead teacher in an early childhood center, so I have thought about “taking my work home with me” with an in home daycare. My children are 5, 12 and 15. For me the draw-back would be missing athletic activities for my middle child for the next year and a half. With the “baby” going into kindergarten in the fall, I might just opt for part time work during school hours. I did this before she was born and actually took home more money than when I worked full time as I saved on daycare and eating out. My house was also A LOT cleaner! :-)

    Reply
    • That is such a good point! It doesn’t have to be an all or nothing situation where you either work full time or are a full time stay at home mom. It sounds working part time would give you the best of both worlds.

      Reply
  24. I just have one at home during the day. I wish I could find something to earn a little extra $ at home. I was a drafter before I started staying home and there r no position to do from hone in that field here;(

    Reply
  25. What a great post! I always hear women say “oh I wish I could stay at home” and I sometimes want to say..well you could if you wanted…granted like you said some women do have to work to financially support or help their family…but others..with a little scarifice would be able to stay home. I am lucky enough to say at home..and I work from home, but if it ever came down to going back to work outside the home, or cutting back wherever possible. I’d do whatever it took to cut back!

    Reply
  26. What a great post! I always hear women say “oh I wish I could stay at home” and I sometimes want to say..well you could if you wanted…granted like you said some women do have to work to financially support or help their family…but others..with a little scarifice would be able to stay home. I am lucky enough to say at home..and I work from home, but if it ever came down to going back to work outside the home, or cutting back wherever possible. I’d do whatever it took to cut back!

    Reply
  27. We made a ton of budget cuts when I left my full time job. But I also dove into my Scentsy business more. My average party is $500, so if I have four a month, I’m making at least $600. It helps! If you’re interested in working from home, on uour own time as your own boss, visit http:\hayleebugs.scentsy.us

    Reply
  28. Agree. I couldnt quit my job entirely, but making some changes in our lifestyle, and working part time has really made it easier to spend more time with my little one.

    Reply
  29. When we took the plunge into being a one income family, we cut our income just about in half. My husband was not totally committed to this change, but we agreed on a trial run, knowing I might go back to work at least part time if necessary. I had one child at the time and, like so many moms, I hated leaving him in daycare. We moved into a less expensive house, but still have an average cost mortgage payment. Our vehicles are paid off, with no new cars on the horizon. We try to share one car (with the lowest gas milage,) when possible. We look for free or low cost activities/entertainment. We rarely eat out. Date night looks different, but still happens. We plan well in advance for vacations. Disneyland comes only after a few years of in-state camping or visits to family or friends where we can drive and have free lodging. We aren’t shabby, but do make the most of what we have – from house wares to clothing – always opting to repair rather than replace if possible. I follow meal plans to avoid unnecessary shopping, use coupons when I can, garden a little, and am gradually learning the art of “do-it-yourself” for many things. In the almost 7 years since I left the work force, we’ve had another child, and are now home schooling both kids. They are both in activities – sports, music, etc, and do not go without. I don’t deny having days where I feel like I want to have more money, to be able to give less thought to how I spend what I have. Then I see my kids, and it seems more like a gift than a sacrifice. Having grown up in a single parent home, I know there are situations where staying home is not a choice. Still, sometimes there is a choice. You have to be brave enough to give up some of the comforts you’ve grown to enjoy in order to truly live your values. I have yet to meet anyone who has, and regrets it.

    Reply
  30. I see your point here, but I have to shed light on some facts that you’ve ignored/ or overlooked that put many of us back in the work force. 1st and most important is health care. My husband works with hazardous materials, and while we would be able to live off his income alone, his job does not offer insurance benefits and many private insurances see pregnancy as a pre-existing condition. Most construction/labor positions do not offer any benefits at all, which leads me to number two. The 2nd is a retirement plan. Many jobs offer some sort of 401k or pension plan that helps if not covers us in our retirement years. We could never save enough from my husband’s 401k/pension for both of us to retire and with both of us in our late 20’s we’re not counting on social security to still be around.
    If you have ways around these two obsticles, can’t me in for the SAHM group!

    Reply
    • You bring up some great points. I’m not all that well versed in the new health care law, but wonder if that would give you coverage. As for retirement, I agree that social security will probably be gone before I’m eligible, so the burden is on us to save. Have you looked into Roth IRAs? When I left my job, I rolled my 401K into one, and still try to max my contributions into it yearly. (We won’t retire with millions, but we should be comfortable.)Also, remember that if you can find a way to make it work out staying home, you can go back to work when the kids are older or off to college. At that point, being used to living on one income, you’d probably be comfortable putting most of the 2nd income into savings/retirement. (That is the plan here.)Obviously every situation is different, and this is a huge decision. I hope that you can find a way. Good luck!

      Reply
  31. My husband and I have two children,since we had the 2nd I’m home all of the time now and I love it. I use to work 7 days a week and it’s nice to be a housewife. I like that I’m raising my children and someone else isn’t. Things are tight right now though, but I hope my kids appreciate it when they’re older. We have a little bit of savings started for their college, but nothing too big. Once they’re in kindergarten I’ll be able to work at least part time.

    Reply
  32. This is one big reason I work from home. I have 3 kids that would need childcare. I would be spending a lot more in gas and I know it would make me want to eat out more often. I am sure I would also want to hire someone to help clean the house. At the end of it all I make more from home.

    Reply
  33. I became a s@hm about 2 yrs ago. We knew that money would be VERY tight, but for us it was well worth it. I once asked my girls if they would rather have more “things” & more vacations AND have me working full time…they didn’t even hesitate for a second. Their unanimous reply was this: “We want YOU, Mama!!!”
    For me, that was all I needed to “give up” that extra car, that 2 week vacation, getting my hair done every other month…do on and so forth.

    Reply
  34. I am the majority income in our family. This is a downside for me because I do not get to be a SAHM like I want! My husband recently became a SAHD though when his hours got cut at work (HVAC industry isn’t very lucrative lately!). After the gas he spent to get to work and daycare costs, we were actually losing money!

    We are in the process of moving to South Florida, so perhaps in the hunt for new jobs he and I can switch roles???

    Reply
  35. Another important factor to consider is if your spouse loses his (or her) job. Going from 2 to 1 incomes is one thing, but from 1 to 0 is entirely another. Not suggesting that one can’t be a SAHM, of course, but that it’s also important to have an education and skill set so that if you are called upon to work outside the home, just on a temporary basis, you could do so to help.

    Reply
    • I think there is a lot more to it than this… I liked the comment about healthcare and retirement. As parents we should consider the whole picture. Lets be honest if you have a good job with health care and retirement does it really pay you to stay at home? Maybe emotionally yes but financially probably not. Take into consideration there are other options besides spending 1,000 on daycare. In my area daycare is more like 300-900 depending on the time and care facility. Also many daycares allow cloth diapers to be used (yes you still have to wash them after work but still worth it), and you can always pump and send your own milk with your child’s care giver. I get the point and I agree that spending time with your kids IS VERY important and worthwhile but for a lot of us working women staying at home full time costs just too much.

      Reply
  36. What a great post! We are expecting our first baby and I am praying that I will be able to stay home with him or her at least part time. Like many others, I wouldn’t be paying for daycare as my Mom would watch our baby and I always brew my coffe at home, pack my lunch, etc. BUT my husband does not make enough to cover even 2/3 of our expenses (and I am taking about basics-rent, student loans, electricity, child support for his 2 other children, etc) and is not as gung-ho as I am about me being a SAHM. But having said all that, I do know that my future is in God’s hands and that He will provide. Thanks also to the other commentors for some great tips. I fully believe that my most important job on this earth is to be a wife and mother and hope to be able to fulfill both roles to the best of my ability. Lots of love, prayers and good wishes to everyone here!

    Reply
  37. It makes me sad to read this. While helpful for the decently-paid, unfortunately not all moms and dads are. I know this was just meant to be a generalization for the folks that it applied to, but it can be a touchy topic, especially for those who really don’t have that option and still believe that staying home with your child is the right thing to do.

    Would like to share my story, it’s a little odd: my husband and I married so early and had children so early – neither of us went to college. He made minimum wage “flipping burgers” and I stayed home because we both believed it was the right thing to do. We paid our rent in a tiny apartment, spent 20 dollars a week on groceries (and I can break down the list for any skeptics… believe me, these 15 years later, I still remember staring longingly at anything that wasn’t on my pathetic little weekly list) and only paid 2 of the 3 bills every month – always rotating which one got unpaid so it would never get too high – electricity, phone, and gas (we considered a landline necessary with a child.) There was no such thing as going out to eat or buying silly things like clothes. No car payment – car was the same car bought when we were teenagers, no car insurance, no TV, no nothing. We did this for years without a cent from the government – no welfare, no food stamps, no nothing. I baby-sat when I could, but other than that, we were on our own.

    Family members were unsupportive, saying that I was lazy and should work if we couldn’t afford our to pay our bills. I stayed home with our son until he went to Kindergarten, then found out I was pregnant again. This time around, I picked up minimum wage part-time work at night to help cover the cost of formula.

    That only lasted until he was off formula – then I stayed home with him until he was in Kindergarten.

    Now I ask you, the community, is it not money that allows a parent to stay at home with a child? We were not a drain on society – living off of others’ taxes; I played with my children, I taught them and stayed with both of them essentially from birth to school, but I wouldn’t wish that poverty on anyone. I think its so so sad that the decision to stay home to raise children is so often solely based on money. With the shrinking middle class, our stay at home moms and dads are becoming limited to only the wealthy.

    Obviously, my case is extreme: don’t have children if you can’t afford them. But for pete’s sake! Families should NOT be so dependent on that second income and we, as a people, are!! You can cut back and cut back and cut back and for a lot of people, it is simply not enough!!

    Sorry to rant, but the subject is one I feel strongly about. I truly feel that if a parent believes that staying home with a child is the best decision, they should darn well be able to without living in abject poverty. I know, because I was there.

    To anyone interested in the happy ending: when both kids were in school, I entered the workforce full time, with “playing with toddlers” as pretty much the only thing on my resume. A friend’s work had a job opening, and with no experience or education, they took a chance on me (network network network – you never know when an opportunity may come up) I worked there full time (no child care – the oldest was old enough to watch the younger for the 20 minutes after school until a parent came home) until we moved back to our hometown. That position gave me the experience to get hired at a large corporation, where I did such a good job that they hired my husband with no experience (remember – burger flipper – minimum wage) and he did well as well. We’ve both grown in our careers enough to have provided a very good life for our children – they are 17 and 12 and don’t remember being poor at all. In fact, since we formed our “spending habits” as poor people, we really don’t have an extravagant lifestyle, though we can afford to do so now. Our splurge is making sure our kids don’t want for anything.
    And we have car insurance :)

    Reply
  38. Another thing to consider, particularly for first time parents, are tax breaks. I went back o work for a few months after my first was born. We had worked our budget every which way, cut everything there was to be cut and still came up short, so I went back part time to make up the difference we needed. Then we realized that January that we would be getting a huge tax refund as my husband had never changed his withholdings from when he was single. We adjusted his withholdings so that he got larger paychecks (enough for me to stay home!!) and we only get a small refund now.

    Reply
  39. I would love nothing more than to stay home with my child. I’m a single mom. I’m the only income. Would love any ideas!

    Reply
    • You could always work from home either in a specific field or direct selling. That is what I do and have done for 2 years. You get what you put into it, and you do have to work hard … but the end result is so worth it.

      Reply
  40. Thanks so much for the inspiring post. I’ve been working since the birth of my first child 4 years ago and then again when my second came along 2 years ago. During this whole time I’ve longed to stay home with them and now with my 3rd child due in September I think I will finally make it happen. Regarding taxes, according to our accountant, my husband can expect his income to go up by 17% because of the lower tax bracket we’ll fall into without my income.

    Reply
  41. I am planning on working after our baby is born because hubby and I work at the same place and the university that we work at offers free daycare-college for our little one. If I didn’t work here, we would have to try to scrape and save to send him to college and fork out $25,000 per year for four years. In this case, we are saving $100,000 (and double or triple that when we have more babies in the future) by working outside the home. I am truly blessed to be at this place and am happy that God gave us the opportunity to give our child a free Christian education. Plus, we all commute together, and the baby is across the street from me. I get an hour lunch and two 10 minute breaks to go see him and breastfeed, too. I know that I am a rare exception… I agree with this article… If you can (and want) to stay at home, go for it!!! But in my case, my job benefits my child in the long run by providing excellent education from birth-college. :-)

    Reply
  42. Wives can also be claimed as dependents on husband’s income, which reduces the taxes on his income (meaning more money saved)!

    Reply
  43. Wives can also be claimed as dependents on husband’s income, which lowers the taxes on husband’s income (meaning more money saved)!

    Reply
  44. Love this precious post. I am becoming a SAHM starting Monday and have been super nervous about the missing income, but it no longer makes sense, especially with another little one on the way. I am all about couponing, budgeting, saving money. It gives me such a thrill! Once you start, you will never pay full price again! I also have a small online business called Swanky Baubles Boutique. I sell jewelry and accessories from the comfort of my home, and unlike other programs out there, the start up cost is NOTHING! It’s really been rewarding a fun. I invite you to check it out! Can’t wait to read more of your posts. I need to subscribe :)

    Reply
  45. Excellent article! My husband and I tried me working out of the home and it was awful. I was grossing about $100 a month after daycare, transportation, bottles, disposables etc. And I was LUCKY if I hit the $100 mark. I work from home now selling Scentsy and it’s a blessing. I make more than $100 a month lol.
    ALso other tips – make your own baby food or get into baby led weaning instead of buying processed baby foods. Pick up sewing and learn to make cloth diapers (If I can do it, a rooster could do it), learn the golden dinner machine the “crockpot” instead of going out to eat. hardly any prep, throw it all together and push “on” … no worries for dinner while you spend all that precious time with baby and it’s SO much cheaper.

    Reply
  46. We did this math several years ago when I was in graduate school. It turned out that it was worth ~$40,000 per year for my wife to stay home. Needless to say, she stayed home and instead got a child care license.

    One more point, you missed one point with regard to taxes. A married couple gets one standard deduction (if they take the standard deduction rather than itemize) whether there is one or two incomes. In effect, that means they get the standard deduction off of the first income, but the entire amount of the second income is taxed. For example, a family of four making $40K/year will have a taxable income of about $13K, and pay about $1300 in taxes. However, add in a second income of $35K and the taxable income increases to $48K and the tax increases to ~$6300. Besides the deduction issue, a second income is likely to push you into a higher tax bracket. The bottom line is that the tax burden on a second income is much higher than on the first income.

    Reply
  47. My parents were always in financial straits, my grandparents rarely were. I asked them one time when I moved out on my own and was struggling financially — how do you two make much less than me but have no financial woes? My Gram looked me directly in the eye and said — “the difference between us and you and your parents? We always tithe FIRST. We save SECOND. We pay our bills THIRD. If there is any left, we give and save some more.” So I thought about it, and you know, she was right. Then I married a man who has lived by that all his life, and though times are not always easy, God has provided in some fun and unexpected/miraculous ways.
    Now, here is what comes next on being able to be a SAHM:
    I left my public school teaching career to be a stay at home mom when my first daughter was born (we now have four kids, are in our sixth year of marriage, and homeschool :). HOW IT WORKED FOR US: We wanted to start a family soon after we were married and so practiced living on one income the year I was pregnant and used all of my income to pay off our vehicle and credit card debt. After quitting my job, we garden, I cook 90% of our food from scratch (yes we make our own yogurt), hang clothes out to dry, and swap services with other homeschooling moms (I teach art and math my husband teaches physics and computer programming)and they babysit for me for free when I take my kindergartner to swim and violin lessons and sometimes they even help me clean.
    We put money toward priorities — music lessons, outdoor gear, moving to a nice neighborhood (nothing like having bored lazy on parole neighbors hide behind trees and shoot at you and your house/windows for fun, thank GOD, HE got us out of there).
    We cut elsewhere – flip phones, no ipad/iphone, no data plans, no cable/satellite, get movies and books for free from the library,rarely eat out, take a vacation every few years instead of every year, buy clothes from thrift stores/yardsales, etc/
    To pick up extra spending money, we consign clothes when we grow out of them and I used to/could still sell artwork (I am a professional portrait artist, though I haven’t done much after child number 2.) SOOO…
    Be faithful, be creative, and bless you all on your own endeavors.

    Reply
  48. I sew. I make cloth diapers, dresses, blankets, burp cloths. It started out that I made my own items for the kids. And a few for showers. And then people started asking for them. It’s not a large profit. But it’s the difference between having cable tv and internet or not. Or signing the kids up for a sport in the summer. And I get to do something I enjoy.
    We also don’t buy anything new (aside from carseats/cribs). Everything is used. We do not have fancy cars. And I walk the kids to school everyday. We also do not buy school lunch. $2.25 a meal for two kids adds up. I pack there meals.
    For Birthday’s and Christmas. We always have a “Big” party for the 1st birthday. And there after we have family parties. I have 4 siblings so they aren’t really lacking the “special” time.
    Christmas is a big deal. And I save up all year for it. Everytime I come under in my grocery budget I put the money away. Or if my husband gets a bonus at work we put it away until we reach that magic number and then we do not touch it until Christmas time.
    Which comes to my husband, He is a good man. A hard worker! He always picks up the overtime. Or does odd jobs. He mows our elderly neighbors yard. When he started it was to be kind. And then she came out and said she would pay him $25 dollars every other week. Which turned into him scooping/snow blowing there sidewalks and drive ways when it snows. So, he brings home and extra $50 dollars a month.
    He has a cell phone. But I have the house phone. And a cheapo track phone in the car that only has so much time on it. In case there is an accident or something like that.
    We go out to eat 6 times a year. That’s it. And that is on birthdays. My grocery budget is $400 a month for 6 people. And I usually come under. Planning and being prepared helps. I also do not take littles with me. I clean my grams house one day with the kids. And the next day she watches them while I go and shop. I price match EVERYTHING! And use coupons when I can. I also cook from scratch. I don’t buy anything that is pre-done. So no soups, cookies, pizzas, graveys. It’s hard to tell what they put in it and what the baby would be allergic to.
    I am a heater/air conditioner freak. It stays at a certain point. If your hot turn on the fan. If your cold cover up.
    And I make my own cleaning solutions. Aside from Shout. I buy that. But always have a coupon.
    Needless to say. I am very careful. And work just as hard as my husband does to keep things going while he is working. He comes home and has a warm meal. And his clothes are always washed. And he washes the dishes.
    My cup is always over flowing.

    Reply
  49. I sew. I make cloth diapers, dresses, blankets, burp cloths. It started out that I made my own items for the kids. And a few for showers. And then people started asking for them. It’s not a large profit. But it’s the difference between having cable tv and internet or not. Or signing the kids up for a sport in the summer. And I get to do something I enjoy.
    We also don’t buy anything new (aside from carseats/cribs). Everything is used. We do not have fancy cars. And I walk the kids to school everyday. We also do not buy school lunch. $2.25 a meal for two kids adds up. I pack there meals.
    For Birthday’s and Christmas. We always have a “Big” party for the 1st birthday. And there after we have family parties. I have 4 siblings so they aren’t really lacking the “special” time.
    Christmas is a big deal. And I save up all year for it. Everytime I come under in my grocery budget I put the money away. Or if my husband gets a bonus at work we put it away until we reach that magic number and then we do not touch it until Christmas time.
    Which comes to my husband, He is a good man. A hard worker! He always picks up the overtime. Or does odd jobs. He mows our elderly neighbors yard. When he started it was to be kind. And then she came out and said she would pay him $25 dollars every other week. Which turned into him scooping/snow blowing there sidewalks and drive ways when it snows. So, he brings home and extra $50 dollars a month.
    He has a cell phone. But I have the house phone. And a cheapo track phone in the car that only has so much time on it. In case there is an accident or something like that.
    We go out to eat 6 times a year. That’s it. And that is on birthdays. My grocery budget is $400 a month for 6 people. And I usually come under. Planning and being prepared helps. I also do not take littles with me. I clean my grams house one day with the kids. And the next day she watches them while I go and shop. I price match EVERYTHING! And use coupons when I can. I also cook from scratch. I don’t buy anything that is pre-done. So no soups, cookies, pizzas, graveys. It’s hard to tell what they put in it and what the baby would be allergic to.
    I am a heater/air conditioner freak. It stays at a certain point. If your hot turn on the fan. If your cold cover up.
    And I make my own cleaning solutions. Aside from Shout. I buy that. But always have a coupon.
    Needless to say. I am very careful. And work just as hard as my husband does to keep things going while he is working. He comes home and has a warm meal. And his clothes are always washed. And he washes the dishes.
    My cup is always over flowing.

    Reply
  50. I appreciate your article, but please be careful not to judge working mothers. Sometimes it is a choice to be a working mother, and in other cases it is a complete necessity. Your article has some good points, but in all honestly, we should all just do what we feel is best for our own families. What works for you doesn’t always work for the next mother. We’re all in this life together, and we’re each doing our best to make it through.

    Reply
  51. I’m on the other end now, in my 50’s. I quit working when my first child was born and it was worth every sacrifice we made. We lived modestly. We homeschooled which was a tremendous experience for our whole family. I always worried about how our kids would pay for college because we weren’t able to save for that. We let our kids know early on they would have to pay for college themselves and worked on strategies to do that. Our oldest is attending a private college and has been able to avoid loans so far with scholarships, financial aid and working. She went into college with 30 AP credits, which will allow her to graduate a semester early. She works very hard academically and has a job. She doesn’t have as much fun or free time as the other kids, but she is meeting her goal to become a math teacher. Our youngest is still in highschool and because of an “early college” program that combines highschool and college she will earn an associates degree from our community college one year after graduation. This only costs us books and transportation. My point in sharing this is that by planning, thinking creatively and hard work goals can be accomplished even expensive ones.

    Reply
  52. I am a stay-at-home mom. We live off of $2,000/month (we do have low housing costs–our mortgage is $425/month). It is not easy but God always provides what we need, and often much more than we need! To stay home there are definitely sacrifices in lifestyle but so worth it! I think the biggest challenge is trusting God to provide when you follow Him, doing what He wants me to do!

    Reply
  53. Awesome post! When my husband and I sat down and crunched the numbers, I would be making only $200 per month, so it was not worth it for me to work. We stopped paying cable and ate out once per month, as well as cut other expenses so it paid for me to stay at home ;-)

    Reply
  54. I’m 18 and my duaghter is 8 months since I got pregnant thankfully I have been able to quit my job and judt focus on me and babyy husband is 20 making 900 $ a week we have 2 cars and a big four bedroom home we have both made it work his parents gave us a new home and his 2013 truck i gues I was lucky with my inlaws

    Reply
  55. I’m still looking for information that will allow me to stay at home. :( I carry the insurance and my husband would have almost no income if he had to carry it (and the insurance would be less than what we have now). I work ten miles from home, don’t have to dress up for work, and my mom watches my girls for far less than daycare costs. I also never produced milk, so breastfeeding has always been out for me. I guess I’m looking for that magic bean that would give me the ability to stay with my kids while they are little, but it doesn’t exist. :(

    Reply
    • I’m so sorry! I really wish I could offer a magic pill for affording to be a stay at home mom. Finding affordable health insurance seems to be the deal breaker for most families. I have been researching options. The new health care reform act seems to be helping people within a very particular income bracket, but not if your employer offers insurance. Ack! What type of work do you do? Could it convert into a freelance/ work at home type situation?

      Reply
  56. The hand that rocks the cradle… it is always worth it to stay home, I have been on both sides of the fence.. currently we home school our youngest too :-)

    Reply
  57. I was in retail sales for 12 years. I made a decision to be a WAHM before I was even pregnant. I started my own business working on the weekends and using my contacts to gain business. After I became pregnant with our little one, I was determined to be a WAHM and homeschool. We do not have everything. No TV-grocery budget decreased-I have not been shopping in I don’t know how long–We have went the way of the ol’times and it is not always easy. Do able, yes, but not always easy. If you have a passion, create a business of it. Even if it takes a while before you can GET THERE to be a WAHM, it is possible with drive & determination. Each day do a little something towards the goal and eventually it will become a reality!

    Reply
  58. Great post, plus the 97 tips for saving money too! As well as many of the costs you mention, I found when I worked briefly between having my two children, the cost of hairdressers appointments was another factor I can happily drastically cut down on if I’m not working full time in a professional job! Now I only get a colour if I have a special occasion like a wedding to go to, probably once a year at most!

    Reply
  59. Reading this post makes me incredibly sad. I desperately want to stay at home with my baby, but I make nearly 3 times what my husband does and it is just not feasible as we would like to live in our current house and have things like food and clothes. I love my husband and my baby, but I feel awful that I can’t be at home with my son.
    That being said, this post is great for other in different positions!

    Reply
  60. Not to mention I carry the health insurance and it’s only $82/week for the whole family. I already cloth diaper and breastfeed (expressed milk while I’m at work) so we are already saving that money. I’m also becoming a cloth diapering consultant to help with a bit of extra spending money, but it certainly won’t make up enough to quit my job :(

    Reply
  61. I have always worked full time. I grew up in a 2 income household, my grandmother worked full time outside the home. I cannot think of one single stay at home mom in my extended family. I don’t really know what it’s like and don’t think I know how to be a stay at home mom! I would get bored and probably go nuts. I actually did get bored towards the end of my maternity leaves. I got too OCD about house cleaning and got on everyone’s nerves. In a perfect world, I would work part time, but I will never not work outside the home. I am one of those people who wants to have a career AND a family. Keeps me in good mental balance and makes me really appreciate family time.

    My husband has been mostly unemployed for about 4 years now, leaving me as the primary breadwinner. I carry the health insurance ($250/month for the whole family), retirement savings, and pension. I am in grad school and my employer is paying for 75% of my master’s degree. My husband is a stay at home dad so we have no childcare expenses. 2 of the 3 kiddos are at school all day, we have 1 more year of preschool for the 3rd. No more diapers or formula. I am in healthcare so I wear $12 scrub pants and $8 tshirts to work. We have no car payments. I meal plan and make a homecooked meal for dinner 6/7 nights a week. While the finances are tight and that causes some stress, I am so thankful to be in this position!

    Reply
  62. I am so grateful that I found this website! I am currently in the process of switching from a working mom to a stay at home mom. I make double the income of my husband and really afraid to quit my job because of the income loss. I have been bless to find a job working from home (making half of what I am now). I know that God will make a way for my family to make this work. I find it so fulfilling to be able to homeschool one of my children (two in the fall) and be home for the third when she gets home in the afternoon.
    I am looking for ways to save additional money around the house and this website has really given me a jump start! Thank you Thank you Thank you!

    Reply
    • I know from experience, you are on the threshold of a huge leap of faith! Such an exciting and scary time! I pray this will be a great thing for your family and that God will continue to provide everything you need. I also just wanted to say, I appreciate so much that you took the time to comment. It seriously just made my week that all the many hours and passion that I have poured into this blog have helped and encouraged you.

      Reply
  63. This makes me really sad. I’ve wanted to stay at home, but it just isn’t an option for us. Both my husband and I work full time, his mom keeps the baby and pays for food/diapers while he’s there. We shop thrift stores when we do buy clothes and we have no dry-cleaning bills. We both take lunches from home and only work about 17 miles from our house. We’ve switched our providers to the lowest priced options and neither of us have fancy phones. With our monthly bills and the few expenses we do have it’s been a struggle to come out on top and save a little each month.
    It sounds like an easy thing to do, but sadly, it just doesn’t work for everyone. By the time we would ever be able to do this, our little will be well into school.

    Reply
  64. Another great tip is for couples to not spend money on a lavish wedding. Have a simple wedding and use that money to stay home for a year with your first baby!

    Reply
    • That’s a fantastic tip! When I heard that the average cost of a wedding in the US was around $25k, I was floored. It’s easy to get caught up in the wedding preparations, thinking about finances early on will really make a marriage a success long term.

      Reply
  65. I wish I made the $3,000 a month ! I barely make $700 right now and if I quit we won’t have an apartment over our heads .Summers here in the phoenix area are brutal because the snowbirds leaving taking the money and possible hours you can work in retail with them. I really feel that God wants me to stay at home but until my husband can find a job that pays more if we don’t work we won’t be able to eat , pay bills or have a a place to live .While your article is great for wives with husbands who have steady jobs that pay more the 9$ an hour ,unfortunately for the rest of us we need to work to have roofs over our heads .I can’t even afford to buy fabric and start a business , I can’t buy a home and turn it into a day care .We don’t have many options as my husbands going to school . we are frugal , we dont eat out much we don’t have cable,just internet and a phone and one paid off car .I make my meals and take them with me to work. I’ve cut every expense i can think of and we plan on breast feeding and cloth diapering .baby is due in December . I am worried and want to stay at home but can’t .I trust God wil provide but we have to work as much as possible untill my husband can find a higher paying job .

    Reply
  66. I feel awful for the situation I have put our family in. With over 70k a year in income I make far more than the $3000 a month shown here, and unfortunately we have the house and lifestyle to go with the higher income. To stay home would mean cutting our income by about 60% I would be willing to make a lot of sacrifices, but with the housing market, I can’t really sell right now, and if we did, the rental market in our area is higher than owning. I am desperately looking for ways to stay at home with my children #1 is 18 months and #2 is on the way. We’re planning on having three and I thought maybe if I could get our vehicle paid off before #3 comes that I will be able to stay at home until they are in school… (I was putting extra on my husbands work truck and we got it paid off 3 years early.) I really hope I can accomplish this, I never knew I would want to be a SAHM, but once my little baby bear came along, everything changed, and my career that I had worked so hard for didnt seem so important anymore. :(

    Reply
  67. Does anyone know of any good stay at home mom jobs that don’t have upfront fees and that aren’t scams? I’m currently a stay at home mom but we need a little bit more of an income just for utility bills mainly. My fiancés income pays for rent and our truck payment.

    Reply
    • In home daycare. Even just one child can bring in $200 a week that after you make all you deductions, is tax free. Plus, there is a Federal Food program that pays for you daycare food, and for your children’s food during daycare hours. Check your state web page for how to get going.

      Reply
  68. Wonderful article! Thank you for sharing. I just went back to work after 12 weeks at home with my sweet baby. I have a wonderful boss and job (allowing me to work 30 hrs/wk in the office only 3 days, and working a few hours from home on the other 2 days), but I still find it very hard to leave her on those days. She splits time away from me with the 2 grandmas and daycare. I know I am blessed to not have to work in the office 5 days per week, but I feel like I’m working twice as hard now for less hours and $. I too am struggling with the thought of giving up a great career (not so much the career, but my position and my wonderful boss). My daughter is way more important than my job; however, I’m mindful that if I leave the workforce for a few years, when I need to go back to work and she (and perhaps future siblings) is in school, I won’t make as much. I also struggle with people’s comments about how daycare is good for her, it’s good for her not to need mommy so much, be around other kids, etc. My mom stayed home with me and my brother, as did my mother-in-law with my husband and his sibling, and we all turned out to be social “normal” adults. I’ve been praying about it a lot but it’s just a tough decision overall. I wonder, would the stress of having to pinch pennys to stay at home be as tough as the stress to work and leave her all the time? I also feel like my home is never clean anymore, and I can’t imagine having another child…I barely have time for mine now! Perhaps it’s the fact that I’m a little sleep-deprived, as she still doesn’t sleep more than a couple of hours at the time…forgive my rambling :) anyway, thank you again for posting!

    Reply
  69. When I was expecting my last son, I knew his father would not stick around. I had a professional job that was both growing and very promising. It broke my heart to think of putting my son in daycare, and not being able to nurse and spend the time with him I did with my other two. (I was home for a least a year for the other two boys.)

    After looking into daycare options, I decided to look into starting my own in-home daycare. It would mean moving, and finding a landlord that would be willing to not only allow my three sons to depreciate their house, but 8 more daycare kids! Eventually I found a not so nice apartment in a good neighborhood, so I fixed it up to make it suitable.

    A year later, my sons were able to attend private school, private music lessons, tutors, etc. Twelve years later, I bought my own house, with no partner, or family.

    If you want something bad enough, you will find a way to make it happen. It wasn’t all joy, the first two years were so rough, but I am glad I made the change.

    Reply
  70. I am a working mother. Full time employee/ full time mommy. Although you may not consider me full time mommy because I’m working full time, it does not mean that because I am away from them that what I do is not for them! I work for an amazing company that, yes, I do have to spend time away from my kids 40 hrs a week but it IS job security for not only myself but my
    children. They get the best healthcare, dental, vision care I could have ever dreamed of for them. Mommy DOES get the privilege of earning the income to buy them the things they not only NEED but they DESERVE. And not feel guilty of it. I feel empowered as a WOMAN that I can do this on my own for my children even if things don’t last forever with my husband because let’s face reality. .. These days it’s hard to say love lasts forever. So while most of you women are stating that us working mom’s are strong and you can’t imagine being away from your kids, me as a former stay at home mother would say that as much as I love my children I wouldn’t have my life any other way! I enjoy having adult conversations daily and still being blessed to be able to come home and eat dinner and tuck my babies in bed. Just because us working mom’s work, doesn’t make us any less of a full time mom than a stay at home mom. Everything us working mom’s do is FOR them. we just get the perks of living two lives. We can still be empowered women and mothers! After all, we are still individuals with dreams, even before we became mothers and for me it will not be thrown in the backburner! We only get one life!! ♡

    Reply
  71. That’s still $700 more then then what you didn’t have. And in this economy every bit counts. Unless you make less then $3000/month. Then it might be worth staying home

    Reply
  72. My baby is 23 now and I was a stay at home mom her whole life. I was able to supplement our income with a part-time, at-home job when she got a little older. I had friends who used to tell me how lucky I was that I could stay home – and all these friends had big houses, fancy cars, cable tv, toys like boats and snow mobiles … all things that we did without gladly. It just depends on how bad you want it. It was well worth it!

    Reply
  73. I would add to make the most of gift-giving occasions – ask for diapers, wipes, clothing – instead of toys/baby blankets/anything superfluous. A lot of things you don’t need for baby right away and can be put off until holidays, etc. Here is an example of a Christmas list that I put together for my boys, who will be about 9 months old at Christmas time… it has partially necessities and partially fun things for them.

    Reply
  74. I’ve been home with my son since he was born 5 1/2 months ago, and I have to go back to my teaching job when he’s 10 months old. I love this article! I researched a lot before having him to see if we would be able to afford for me to take a leave from school. They will hold my job for 2 years. Now I wish I had requested the entire school year off. I really DO spend less money now that I have him. I still wear my maternity jeans and I just don’t care. I found this fabulous group on Facebook. It’s a “mom swap,” and you can get just about anything used for your baby locally from another mom. I know all of these people whose husbands make more money than me, and they go back when their baby is 6 weeks old when we are so fortunate that they will hold our jobs for 2 years. I think it’s great if you want to be a working mom and go back! I just don’t understand how people who make so much more than us say they can’t afford to stay home. My tips are to live in a small house, use cloth diapers, try to limit car payments. I think car payments are what get a lot of people. Do you want a new car or to sleep in with your baby? Health insurance is what’s tough. Now if I get sick I have to pay it all out of pocket until we reach a huge amount and they start paying under my husband’s insurance. Anyway, I was working 60 hours a week teaching. It wasn’t healthy. With my next baby, I will definitely take a long time off and work part-time at night. I suggest being a restaurant server too. When I worked at Red Lobster in college, I made at least $100./night years ago, and worked with a lot of moms who worked three shifts a week. I just think that if you’re not happy or healthy because of a job, try to make a change and you’ll be surprised what’s possible!

    Reply
  75. It is possible to both work full time and exclusively breastfeed (and pump). I did it for over 2 years. (And cloth diapered) Just want new mom’s stumbling across this to know it doesn’t have to be one or the other.

    And in that oversimplified budget, when the diapers and formula cost wear off, it doesn’t factor in the increase in other household expenses from having a child/children. Yes, you will save money staying home, but don’t forget to factor in costs that will rise (groceries, utilities, clothes, gifts, recreation, college savings, etc.)

    Obviously everyone can and should do what is best in their own situation, and to be honest if my husband could financially support us all I would stay home in a heart beat, but there is more to it than this article shares. It is heartbreaking, but I know I can still be a great mom and great role model for my daughter, working as a nurse.

    Love to all moms, working in/from/and out of the home :)

    Reply
  76. I would love to be a stay at home mom well as a matter of fact I jus got laid off and I’m looking for online work so I can stay at home does anyone know of any online jobs that are not scams.

    Reply
  77. Just found your blog. I know that this is never a cut and dry issue for any mom. But I do appreciate your gentle reminder that I can, with discipline, stay home with my son. I’ve been home 2 years now but every so often when the money gets tight, it’s oh so tempting to poke around at jobs on Craigslist and wonder if life would be easier with an extra paycheck. It may indeed be easier, but I want to make an educated, intentional choice to either stay home or go back to work. This article helps me remember the positives of staying home. In the meantime, I keep working thru nap time on my little online shop to share some extra income with the family. :)

    Reply
    • Thanks for your thoughtful comment Rebecca! The thing I think about being a mom is, it’s going to be hard sometimes, whatever your home/work situation. You’re so right, the best we can do is just to make a well-informed decision we can for our own little family. I loved checking out your shop. Your graphic design and greeting cards are absolutely gorgeous!

      Reply
  78. Someone mentioned eBay in a very earlier comment as a way to get great deals but I’ve also made it a source of income. I started out selling junk around the house we weren’t using any more and then moved into ‘recycling’ the kids clothes so the money we made selling one size would pay for the next size. I read the book ‘eBay Sales Accelerators’ and put a lot of the tips to use right away, it’s written with the idea of how to get things done more efficiently and how to build a repeatable stream of sales not just selling random stuff making a few bucks here and there. eBay has definitely been a key to affording to stay at home!

    Reply
  79. I have really enjoyed reading this article and all the comments by the ladies here! i am working 28 hours right now, but with driving I’m away for 32 hours a week, after deducting the costs of me working i bring home $1,300 which we can’t live without. i am currently doing an online course for Medical transcription in hopes that i can eventually work from home. I love my job and have job security so i’m scared to quit, cause i’m afraid i’ll fail at anything else then i will have to work full-time and be away from my daughter. she just turned 1 three weeks ago. we have 2 car payments and 2 credit cards left to pay off. we rent a house that is also too small for our family :( it seems like we’ll never have enough to buy a forever home. but reading this page has really given me some inspiration to work even harder at getting the rest of our debt paid off. Altogether we have 4 children in our home. My husband works a lot, and we’ve been making it our goal this year to really pay off debt. i’m just praying something happens for me to stay home. that’s all i really want, i wish i had planned a head of time and thought about this beforehand!

    Reply
    • Thanks for sharing your story Brooke! I’m praying with you that you’ll have success and the confidence to move into an at-home position and to pay off your debt. I know it came as a surprise to me how much I wanted to be home with my kids, too. Those little ones just totally change our lives in such amazing ways! :)

      Reply
  80. I am currently working full time for an engineering company. I want to be a stay at home mom but i do not know where to start. I work Monday- Thursday 7:30-5:30 Fridays 7:30-12. When i get off i only have time to shower cook and head to bed. I spend maybe at the most 2 hours with my son before he’s asleep. His dad watches him while im at work but he does not read and do academic activities with him. Im only 21. Right now im bringing in more money than my boyfriend so i was trying to wait til he finds a better paying job so i can stay at home. Im open to working at home but i cant find anything that isnt a scam.Im open to working with other moms and their business or if i could get some topics to research that would be greatly appreciated.

    Reply
  81. Wow, am I sooo glad I found you. I have been praying for peace and guidance for a while now. I have 2 daughter, 8 and 3 and baby girl #3 on the way in September. It seems senseless to go back to work after she is born. I have so many ideas of writing e-books, sewing things, and I love social media. I have a lot of debt to pay off with my husband and we could really downsize… please pray for me :)

    Reply
  82. These are wonderful, supportive comments, and this is a very helpful blog! I wish all of you ladies the best of everything in these important decisions in life-afterall, our families are first priority, for sure! The initial finances are often surmountable with some ingenuity, it seems. I wonder if anyone has insight into the after-effects when you stay home for a few years and then try to get back into the workforce. Many of my fellow working mommies were warned (including myself) that a few years away will make it infinitely harder to land any job later.

    Reply
  83. Fantastic post! I am a budget coach and this question comes up often. How can we do it? This article will be my first go-to resource for Russell Money Coaching clients! Thanks.

    Reply
    • Hello! I am interested in being a stay at home mom but my car note is unforgiving. I was wondering if you had any suggestions on what type of positions to apply for at home work.

      Reply
  84. I appreciate articles like this but am torn. I work full-time outside the home. I have 2 children, 10 and 11 years old, so we do not have the expenses listed in the article. I would be losing around $1500 per month if I stayed home. My parents provide childcare for us after school and during the summer when they are not at summer camps so we have no child care fees at all and my kiddos have the benefit of extra time with their grandparents. It would definitely be a stretch financially for me to become a SAHM (which I would truly LOVE to be). It would require a lot of thought, prayer, and planning. It would be a leap of faith.

    Reply
  85. We are expecting baby #1 in October. It has always been my dream to be a stay-at-home mom. Turns out, when baby is a HUGE surprise, however, it just isn’t so feasible anymore. As it stands, I don’t make enough to keep up with current bills. I have to be on food assistance programs (humbling..). After baby is born, my sister is willing to do daycare while I work for all those times I watched her babies. My work place is already a casual attire environment, so clothing upkeep isn’t an issue. & I plan on pumping at work. We are already living in a small, 1-bed apartment as well.
    Our savings would only be in my commute. I also don’t think I can quit work & continue to receive any assistance. Not to mention my SO & I can’t seem to keep up with bills without a baby in the mix.
    As far as at-home work goes, I find myself unqualified because I only have a HS degree & no crafty skills I could hone in an etsy shop or blog, etc.
    Overall, I find myself discouraged & at a loss as to how to cope when I find my short, unpaid maternity leave is up & I have to go back to work.

    Reply
    • Oh please don’t feel discouraged! While staying at home is an awesome option, it is not the be all and end all of motherhood. You can still have an awesome relationship with your baby even while you’re working. Having experienced staying home, working outside the home with my child in daycare, and working from home, I can say they can all be wonderful situations and they can all be hard too. It’s all in what you make of it. Now, that said, I really don’t believe you need a college degree to make an income from home. I would encourage you to really research your options now as it will only get more challenge to start something new once baby arrives. Praying you’ll find something that fits perfectly for your family!

      Reply
  86. I can’t tell you how refreshing this site is!! I am a stay at home mother. I was diagnosed with Cancer 5 years ago and I am on disability. I have been a single mother since my child was born 10 years ago. Before being diagnosed I was working full time, and raising my son. I was so extremely exhausted, I couldn’t imagine going back to work. I was so relieved to have the chance to stay at home with my son. I feel so grateful. I am just making ends meet, but we get by.
    Here is my dilemma … I am faced with some criticism from my family that I need to go back to work. They feel as through I don’t get out as much and I need to socialize more, and keep my skills up to date. They also are worried that the longer I am not working the harder it will be for me to go back to work. Since my son is in school all day during the school year, I could probably manage a part time job.
    I just not sure if my decision is based on others options or what I want.
    It is true that my expenses will go up by working, but they don’t see it that way.
    They think it is better for me to work than to stay home.
    Any suggestions on how to figure out what is really best for me and my child.
    Thank you in advance, and thank you for this forum! A lot of brave women on here!!

    Reply
  87. I work full time as an assistant teacher with special needs children, and I make about 1,300 a month. I am going to be married next year, but I don’t see any way at all that I could become a stay at home mom. Any advice?

    Reply
  88. Hello! I’m a long-time reader of Growing Slower, but rarely comment (sorry about that)! But this post really got to me. I haven’t had kids yet, but am hoping to start trying in the next few years (very soon. It would be today if I could). The problem is, we have almost $200,000 in debt! It’s so much that we can barely see the light at the end of the tunnel. We are working are hardest to pay it off (we both work full time and I also blog and am hoping to build up my blogging business someday), but it just seems so impossible to be a SAHM from our standpoint. It’s nice to see that it IS possible with some hardwork. I hope that we can get there. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  89. i’ve read this blog before, and i’m reading it again. so sad, that unfortunately after subtracting all my expenses, i come out to bringing $1,400 home :( not something we can live without…..and that’s working part-time too. i’ve started my own blog, having major problems getting the kinks worked out…..it breaks my heart everyday i leave my baby, she’s going to be 2 in just a few months and still cries when i leave. and so do i. i’m praying something happens that allows me to stay home completely!!!

    Reply
  90. It has always been my dream to be a SAHM. We can’t quite make it on my husbands income, so I do daycare. Since we have 2 children now, I don’t have a lot of kids for daycare, just 2 full time and 1 part time, but it makes up the extra we need for our budget, and as long as I’m home with my kids, why not take care of a few others? My boys love having other kids to play with, and doing daycare helps us stay in a good routine.

    Reply
  91. I’ve realized these benefits of staying at home with my kids first-hand. It really wasn’t quite as expensive as I thought it would be to stay at home when I saw a lot of other expenses go down, such as less eating out and convenience food because I was too tired to cook meals from scratch.
    I definitely want to create a way for moms that are considering staying at home with their kids to analyze the cost savings and how much income they need to make to cover the shortage. I’m all about spreadsheets, so totally going to create this. Working is great for many moms and staying at home is great for many others. I just hope that all moms that want to stay at home can see the benefits and make it work for them.

    Reply
  92. This is a great idea, and I’m so glad there are many women who can be encouraged by this. This, however, will not apply to me when we have children. My husband has had a LOT of job changes and job instability. I currently make 3x my husband’s income (and my income is less than this example), spend very little on transportation and clothing, and will likely have low childcare costs since my mom has volunteered to help us some in that way. We also really need my benefits (hubby’s meds out-of-pocket would be equal to our current take-home income). Hopefully his income will improve over the next few years, but I will likely be the breadwinner for a long time if not for always.

    BUT–I love my job and would probably be a better working mom than stay-at-home mom. I will focus on quality family time over the quantity of family time. My husband may not earn a lot, but he is a wonderful person, fantastic with kids, and has a wonderful servant heart. We’ve considered the option of him staying home full or part-time. We will see!

    Reply
  93. How can I stay at home when I make $7000 more than my husband & I have stronger job stability than my husband? So he is most likely going to be a stay-at-home dad. But I have to go back to my stressful job :( any advice? I thought about working from home, but health insurance.. And I heard medical transcription is a dying field, as docs can rely on technology instead… Sigh…

    Reply
  94. I am currently a working mom trying to figure out how to be a stay at home mom. I find all your post very helpful and compelling. I have often thought about starting a blog or selling items on Etsy, or you know winning the lottery so I can actually be home and parent to my 5 kids instead of missing out on everything as I do now. I don’t even make the average amount that you state in the above blog and my expenses after going to work seems to much worse off than I expected. After sitting down and doing the math I keep asking myself “Why am I making my self go to a job that I do not even like any more?”, “Why am I wasting my time doing this when I could be at home making an actual contribution?” Thank you so much for putting this information out there for people like me to see it really is possible to find other means of supporting your family without giving up being with them.

    Reply
  95. From full-time worker of 20 years to SAHM for the past 7+ was a huge change. I was fortunate to be able to leave a stressful job but it wasn’t easy. Money was tight, we stuck to a budget & paid off all of our debts. I was open minded & looking for a way to create extra income for our family while being at home. I checked out many home based businesses for over a year but was disappointed until 3 years ago. So blessed to be introduced to a team & company that helped me achieve my goals of reliable, passive income.
    Best advice I can give is… Be Honest with yourself & others. “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” Alexander Graham Bell

    Reply
  96. Awesome post!!!l

    Have any of you ladies ever looked into becoming a school bus driver?!??
    The hours are perfect for us moms!
    When your school age Children go to school, you can drive them while making money!!! And the little ones you have can tag along!!!
    You have all the same holidays, nights, weekends, and Summer’s off!!!
    And they provided free training!!! At first I was nervous about driving such a large vehicle but in no time it becomes second nature!
    The are currently hiring in the Little Elm,TX
    Starting pay is $15 an hr!!!
    And there is a sign-on bonus!!!!

    Reply
    • That’s a great idea Kelsey! I remember there was a mom with 3 kids in my school growing up who drove a school bus. Perfect since she was on their exact schedule and they rode the bus with her just as you said. It really is all about getting creative when you want to stay at home. :)

      Reply
  97. Instead of being stay at home, my boss is agreeing to give me part time until my twins are old enough to go to school. Though he wasn’t happy about it, he was very understanding. Since i have a computer and tablet, I saved a ton of money by switching to a flip phone when my contract ended. I decided to fix up and keep the same car until they go back to school. Not having to make car payments has been a blessing. Gardening has also given me relief, and cooking at home is a LOT cheaper. Sometimes you will have to sacrifice things. It’s cheaper in the long run to end your gym membership and buy a few different dumbell sizes, and instead of a treadmill, get a cheap pedometer and enjoy a walk in the fresh air. That part is totally free. Ride your bike instead of an elliptical. Instead of cable, try netflix or purchase full season dvds of your favorite shows. If you have to work part time, try working a few hours on the days that your spouse is off.

    Reply
    • Thanks for all the great tips Galie! I’m so happy you found a situation that is working well for you. Sometimes even if you can’t be a stay at home mom full time, you can find a great compromise.

      Reply
  98. Seems I’m a little late to the party as most of these comments are from years back… Anyway, I’ve been a SAHM since 2007, volunteering at our children’s school & church events and suffering through MLM after MLM, trying to make a little extra cash, as my schedule allowed. As the kids grew older & busier, I found they needed me less but, in their absence, our two dogs finally came to me more, which gave me an idea. Rather than kiddie play dates, I looked into doggie play dates! I partnered with DogVacay in 2013 and began boarding in our home & house sitting at theirs. After our daughter graduated in 2015, we painted & spruced up her bedroom and started renting through Airbnb. The two agencies allow me to stay at home (mine or the dogs’) and I’m generating a fun, legitimate $2,000 a month or more! For ideas & fun photos, look at DogVacayUSA.com and AirbnbFL.com! Using our home to create this cash flow has been an absolute blast, however, as we approach the “empty nest” chapter of our lives, we’re looking to fly the coop, ourselves, and experience the beauty that our nation (and the world!) has to offer. The second we leave the house, so goes my income. Therefore, I’m actively seeking nomadic compensation and joyfully welcoming new ideas to fund our traveling retirement.

    Reply
    • Vanessa! Thanks for sharing your story and tips! I love how you used your interests and creativity to allow you to afford being a stay at home mom! I’m am curious how it would be renting out a room in your house for Air BnB? Have you had good experiences with your visitors? Is it weird having a stranger in your home? Is it a lot of work? I think it sounds like it could be a lot of fun, especially when my kids get a little older.

      Reply
  99. I am a teacher at a private school with a son going into preschool next year, and a baby due in August! I don’t make a lot of money being at a private school but the daycare is cheap (around $300 a month) and I’ll get half off his preschool tuition being an employee. The total to have both of our kids in school and daycare next school year will be around $480 a month with me bringing making around $1800 a month (before daycare is taken out). I’ll get to go the the nursery and breastfeed so that’s nice, but I really want to make being a stay at home mom work. I’m a Disney travel agent to make a little extra money. I just don’t know how to make this work! It’s great that I have cheaper childcare, but I just don’t make a lot of money to make it worth it with 2 kids!

    Reply
  100. Hello, I found out that in my auto insurance policy was a coverage for “loss of wages” should I become temporarily disabled and can’t work due to an accident. Since I am a SAHM, I dropped that coverage on my policy since they won’t cover me for wages I don’t earn any way. My monthly premium was cut down by about 70 percent! And my family and I are still covered for bodily injury. Of course, it is my vehicle and I am the only driver, but any SAHM should definitely look into it and see if it works for your family.

    Reply
  101. Loved reading this. I am currently looking to figure out how to become a stay at home mom. My baby is 7 months old and we just found out we are expecting again! So daycare for two, I would bring home maybe $40, not even including gas to/from daycare and work, eating out at lunch, etc. My issue is my husband is a plumber at a small plumbing company that does not offer insurance so that is my husbands only hesitation for me leaving. Any tips on cheaper healthcare? I do not know a thing about insurance and would not know where to even begin.

    Reply
  102. Another way to help save on household costs is through maintaining good oral health–that means regular brushing, visits to dentists etc. If one doesn’t have dental insurance, they can find a dentist that offers a dental plan.

    Reply
  103. I want more than anything to be able to stay home with our little one due in May. I’m so stressed (though probably not as much as my husband) about the way I can make this possible. It will be essentially cutting our income in half not to mention adding in the costs of a newborn, who on top of it all, we just found out, is going to be born with a club foot and need the extensive treatment for that… I’m just so concerned that I will have to do so many odd jobs that I will end up working all the time. This mom-to-be is super stressed about the whole situation! I just want to stay home with our baby:(

    Reply

Leave a Comment